NO REGRETS
Performed at "A Show of Gladness," 2004

This exhibition was a determined effort by me to come out of the years-long gloom brought on by the terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington on 9/11/2001. I'd made large and ambitious paintings since that awful day, but most of my work had been small constructions that, though sometimes existential in theme, were covered with joyous-appearing mirrors and jewels and sequins.

At the show's opening, at the Union Gallery at the University of Texas at El Paso, I performed five songs. Along with 200 balloons hanging from the ceiling, the performances were for simple fun, even though one or two had serious undertones. My voice had long-since turned deep and scratchy, so the messages were the point, not the tones or the melodies.

What was it that made some people hate the French at that time? Did they (wisely, it turned out) refuse to join the U.S. in invading Iraq? Whatever their presumed betrayal, this was when folks of a certain political stripe used terms like "Freedom Fries" instead of saying the word "French." In retrospect that seems to be my motivation me for the following song, recorded by an audience member rather than for archival reasons. Bear with it; it is an antidepressant, and you really need to suffer through it to get its point, or lack thereof. 

Weeks before the show, I had described "No Regrets" to my genteel Southern mother over the long-distance phone. Are you really going to do that? she asked. Yes, ma'am, I am, said I, so she flew to El Paso just to witness it. Mother's Day was a few days away, and, following the audience's response, with celebratory arms raised high, I proudly dedicated this number to her: Mama, this one's for YOU. I believe she covered her face in embarrassed horror.

Or maybe it was to hide her pride.

​Yes, that was it.